Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Gay Friend Who's Straight...

Last week I mentioned the situation I’ve often found myself in over the years, where I effectively become a single woman’s “spare”. I’m the safe, interesting, intensely married man who can shed light on the workings of the male mind. I can impart wisdom, explain why a guy may have acted in a certain manner, and can take a pretty knowledgable stab at why something she did pissed him off.

And then when my shared wisdom has worked and she’s landed her next Mr. Right, the connection shrivels and dies.

Through the week I received some confirmations from various persons of a female persuasion assuring me that they do, indeed, enjoy that kind of situation. Having a “captive” male. As I called myself last week, the gay friend who’s straight.

Now, this will seem like a complete deviation from the point, but please stick with me here...

Have you ever done dog training? Puppy pre-school? One of the first pieces of information which any dog trainer will impart is some variation on this: “Look at that little ball of fluff sitting half asleep all over your feet. That, my friend, is a wild animal.”

Okay, so little Fido is a young Labrador that can’t even turn on the spot without sliding onto his butt. The point is that, given the right provocation, any dog can bite. Any dog can attack. Even the ones that have been tamed and loved.

Do you see where I’m heading?

Girls, please remember that your gay friends who are straight...actually are straight. They’re probably not blind. And they’re certainly not immune to the charms of a lovely single woman. Just because they can’t drink from the essence of your beauty doesn’t mean they don’t like being around it. If he is indeed your straight gay friend then he’s attracted to your heart. So please be gentle with his. At least thank him when you dump him.

Look at that big ball of fluff sitting across the table from you. That, my friend, is a wild animal.


Athena Marie said...

Very good point! I have a few straight gay friends... I shall keep it in mind. :-)

Willsin Rowe said...

Hello, Athena! I haven't noticed you here before, so let me say "welcome". Thank you for commenting, and I hope you let your boys down gently ; )