Tuesday, November 2, 2010

For The Brotherhood

I’m by no means an alpha male. I cook, I bake, I iron, I do home stuff. I even buy my wife’s clothes, because she hates doing it and I enjoy it. But I do it in a masculine way. I know her sizes, I go in, find clothes that I think will look good, and I buy them. 15 minutes, tops. So I guess I’m somewhere between beta and gamma male.

I can also string words together in a pleasing manner, often evoking a positive emotional reaction in women.

In so many instances, especially since I became a father, I’ve become what I think of as a “spare”. Single women, usually ones I’ve worked closely with, will get close but not too close. Because they know I’m not just happily married, but I’m just so into my wife and boys. So I’m safe, good company, and an insightful source of advice about guys. I’m basically their gay friend who’s straight. And the contact always - ALWAYS - dries up as soon as they land a dude.

For all of the above reasons, I’ve received positive responses from women over the years. You know the wife says “Yes, my husband bought this dress for me,” and the other woman looks at me in surprise and then casts a loaded glance at her own man.

What I think many women fail to understand at that point is that all I’m doing is all that any man can do: I’m using the tools I have. I don’t earn much. I only work 3 days a week at my day job, and it’s closer to grunt work than Managing Director. I can’t buy my girl expensive jewellery, I can’t take her overseas, I can’t afford a maid. I have sensitivity, vocabulary and time. So I use the tools I have.

So maybe Mr. Bloggs doesn’t buy Mrs. Bloggs any clothes. Maybe he just tosses her his platinum credit card and says “go Milan”. Those are his tools: money and style.

We all know that women and men express love, devotion and loyalty in different ways. This blog is just a way of giving a thumbs-up to my brothers. Because not all men express themselves the same way. Girls, think about what your man does for you and, if you have them, your kids. Maybe he can’t compose you a sonnet. Because he’s putting the finishing touches on my writing desk.

Please tell him “thanks” for me. And give him a kiss. That’s from you.


Cassie Exline said...

Excellent blog post and you're right. Each man has his own way to show love. My hubby makes sure my car is running and is safe for me to drive. Takes out the trash and I never have to ask. If he's off work and home, he'll even make spaghetti for dinner so I can relax after I get home from work. Even makes dinner rolls. I don't have the heart to tell him, no bread. I appreciate all his efforts.

Willsin Rowe said...

Perfect examples, Cassie. That car thing is such a great way for a guy to show (not tell) his girl that he loves her. He's telling you without words how important it is to him that you remain alive and with him. And because you're so nice, I appreciate his efforts too!

Sommer Marsden said...

ooh. i like this!
my man gets up on the weekend and makes me breakfast (usually both days). normally it's something i crave but never have time to make on school days. he masters gluten free dishes for moi. gives me my B12 shots every other week (seksi). Knows when i've been a naughty and deserve a good hard...oh wait. that might be a personal story.

anyway, you are totally right. yay you and all of the brotherhood for looking out for us and showing love in your own special ways! :)


Willsin Rowe said...

Sommer, I admire your man for being able to jab you when and where you need it.

WAIT!!! I meant for the B12 shots, not...uh, never mind.

He sounds like a superb mix of practical and romantic. Hope he liked my vicarious kissie!