As if writing Smut Marathon stories, creating cover art, reviewing books and making book trailers wasn’t enough, I’ve also been spending time lately setting puzzles. I have two Facebook profiles, one under Willsin Rowe, and the other one is for my musical side. On that musical profile, I’ve been using my status updates as a way of setting puzzles for my friends.
The rules are pretty simple. I take a slab of popular song lyrics, almost exclusively the lead-in to the chorus. I then reword those lyrics in the most confusing and long-winded way that I can without exceeding the 420 character limit of the status update. Then it’s up to my friends to work out what the heck the song is. But they’re not simply allowed to name the song. They have to post, as a comment, the next line of the lyrics.
Unfortunately, I have a couple of friends who are too damn good at it and often solve them within a couple of minutes. It often takes me longer to create the thing than it does for them to solve it. Bastards.
As an example of what I mean, see the below excerpt from “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll” by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.
One located an erect male in close proximity to an automated music player
(I saw him standing there by the record machine)
Though said male had not yet reached his majority, clearly there were fewer than 12 months to pass before that event
(I knew he must’ve been about 17)
Rhythmically, the music being played would have been difficult to suppress, though one would not wish to, due to its considerable appeal to one
(The beat was goin' strong, playin’ my favourite song)
Clearly, little time would pass before that male and one were adjacent
(And I knew it wouldn’t be long ‘til he was with me, yeah me, singin’)
So the comment should, of course, be “I love rock ‘n’ roll”.
For those of you playing at home, here are a few more. Answers will be provided in the comments section.
Being in possession of an acutely attractive physiognomy provides no guarantee regarding internal aesthetics
The above is a lesson which became evident, my colleague, at inception
Whilst the 2nd person perceives one as being attractive yet slightly reticent
Maternal figure, one refutes such perceptions unreservedly
One wonders whether the 2nd person’s visual abilities allow them to perceive one in a stationary erect position in this location
Pressing one’s aft regions to the automated coin-operated music playing device
The visual appeal one has to the 2nd person is of adequate quality in comparison to others
One wonders whether the 2nd person’s visual abilities, in a metaphorical sense, allow them to perceive one’s insinuations
One releases a piercing vocal sound (which, whilst strenuous, is non-verbal); an act which is mimicked by the second person
In turn, every person in existence creates a sound of the same nature; all of the above clamour being resultant from a desire for that female
All are well advised to make no attempt at the pretence of that female’s non-existence, as it is patently impossible
One remains in this location, perpendicular to the Earth’s surface and supported by one’s pedal extremities whilst conducting surveillance of the second person
One questions one’s perception, feeling that the observed is, in actuality, transparent
Extreme dejection results from the ensuing situation wherein persons truly juvenile
Apparently require an external clarification as regards their own frivolity
On effectively innumerable occasions, occurrences of the following are scarcely noticeable due to rapidity:
Occasions upon which fervency becomes eroded in exchange for public kudos
The second person is compelled to maintain their grasp of all previous sleeping fantasies
To prevent their demise, pugilism may become a requisite
Best of luck!