Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Word Games

The Washington Post often runs word play competitions. One of their more famous ones had the goal of getting people to make new definitions for old words. Usually (but not always) these definitions take into account the true meaning of the word, but also rely heavily on the way the word sounds. For example:

Spatula: n. A fight among vampires.

I love word games, so I was inspired to take a stab at it myself. Some of the results can be seen below...

AMENABLE - harder work for a matador

ACRIMONY - hatred for one's spouse

BLISTER - a small lump which gives great pleasure when rubbed

BROADCAST - the stars of a chick flick

CLIENT - a lie in cnt

CHLOROFORM - paperwork that puts you to sleep

DERELICT - to refuse to please your wife orally

DOOM - a dyslexic explosion

ELECTROCUTE - to vote for someone based solely on their looks

EQUINE - alcohol that tastes like horse piss

EXACERBATE - to pleasure oneself with increasing violence

EXCEED - a plant

FALLACY - a lie about the size of your penis

FEMALE - like a male but with a cost attached

FLAMINGO - an opera singer who holds a note until he turns pink

GRANDIOSE - spectacular stockings

IMAGINATION - a country which doesn't exist

INCREMENT - to poop backwards

INFIRMARY - an impotence clinic

INFATUATE - those who the clinic has cured

LAMÉ - an alpaca drag queen

LINGER - sexy undies that are torn off too soon

LUMBAR - a pirate's wood

METRONOME - a very short Metrosexual

MOOSE - a Scottish computer peripheral

MYRRH - to half kill someone

NARCISSISM - a love of sibilance

NOISE - to be so badly beaten that your eye is in your nose

OMIT - 80% of your chunder

PASS - a run-of-the-mill bottom

PHYSICS - hiccups from a carbonated drink

PLEASURABLE - to collect bovine semen

PURPORT - the opposite durdirection to surstarboard

PYLONS - stockings for very long legs

REBUFF - to reject someone’s attempts to get you naked a second time

SCRUBBER - an abrasive prophylactic

SEMANTIC - an amorous feeling which dissipates after orgasm

SOLECISM - an inebriated astronomer

STAGNANT - the belief that a pregnancy has stalled

SUBURBAN - to order your fifth Kentucky whisky

TARANTULA - a spider which performs in "The Pirates Of Penzance"

TAXIDERMY - telling the IRS to get stuffed

VINDICATE - waiting until the very last second and then activating your indicator

WOK - to strike someone in the head with a kitchen utensil

XENOPHOBIA - fear of warrior princesses

So who else out there likes word games? Do you have any suggestions I've missed?


Katie S said...

LoL these were great! I'll have to come back later with some too.

Sommer Marsden said...

oh i'm not sure why this cracked me up but it did [MYRRH - to half kill someone]


i am terrible at stuff like this but envy those who are good at it.


Captain Dumbass said...

I got a good laugh out of metronome.

Willsin Rowe said...

Thank you guys. Katie, always lovely to hear from you. Sommer, I'm sure you've felt like myrrh-ing a few people in your time (I know I have).

Yarr, Cap'n Dumbass. Nice to see you over here, me heartie! Or are you not that kind of Captain? More the superhero type, huh?