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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Sucker...

So, I’m a bit of a sucker. Seriously. Not in a major way, as far as I can tell. I’ve lost count of how many members of the Nigerian royal family need me to hold onto their money, yet never have I sent them my details. Hey, I figure if they can trace my email, they can trace my house and bring it to me personally.


No, what I’m a sucker for is specifics. Minute details which, in my mind, make all the difference. Especially when it comes to food.


Take bacon, for instance. I luuuuurve bacon. Bacon is like sex: even if it’s bad, you’re still having bacon! I’m pretty indiscriminate, sure...but if I pick up a pack and it screams across the front “hickory-smoked bacon”...hell, I’m sold. Because why the hell would they specify unless that made all the difference? None of your cheap plywood-smoked bacon for me, ma’am. If it ain’t hickory... it’s dickery!


It’s the same with chocolate. Hmm...chocolate...ooh, Dutch chocolate. Boy, those Dutch know how to, uh...do things...don’t they? Bye-bye, plain old nowhere chocolate! I’m going Dutch!


Hand cut chips? Well, I’d use a knife, myself, but if they’re going to that much effort...


See what I mean? I have no idea! I mean, I really like kisses. But you offer me a French kiss...ahem...

3 comments:

Katie S said...

I'm right there with you except I am hooked on pretending to be healthy. If it says "Natural," or " organic," I have a hard time passing it by.

Anonymous said...

Please try Belgian chocolate - beats Dutch any day! But BACON trumps everything!

Willsin Rowe said...

How about bacon covered with Belgian chocolate?