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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

If This Happens, I Want Royalties!

Normally I try to keep my eXcessica blogs independent from here, but I was so pleased with this idea I thought I'd cross-post it...

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With the huge number of so-called reality shows out there, I’ve been wondering just how much further this genre can be milked. Let me first say that I’m no aficionado of these shows. I rarely watch any of them.

But I had an idea for one.

There are all the different shows dealing with singing and dancing, and the celebrity versions of them. I even heard about a show on Pay TV which was called something like “Porn School”, where professional X-rated actors and actresses worked with some…enthusiastic amateurs…to find the next breed of porn stars. Or perhaps this is an urban myth…

There is also that phenomenon where someone once famous tries (usually in vain) to revive their career by appearing in Playboy. Tiffany Darwish comes to mind, and I think perhaps Belinda Carlisle did the same.

Then there are those stars who make their own “home movies”, which are then “stolen” and shown to the “public”…sorry, I got quotation-mark-happy there…

Well, my idea was kind of a conglomeration of these. Ladies and gentlemen… welcome to “Sexing With The Stars”!

A group of former B-List celebrities signs on to perform more and more complex X-rated sex scenes with professionals. The celebrities would need to show versatility as well as ability, across a range of activities. They will, of course, be expected to switch partners at some point, and perform at least one scene with a member of their own gender. More than anything, it will be important that they at least appear to be enjoying themselves.

There would be behind-the-scenes footage, too. The prep-work, the choreography, and of course, the undress rehearsal. The couple who performs the worst each week will be ejaculated. In the event of a tie, there can be a “fuck-off”.

Performances will be adjudicated by a panel of Adult Movie Directors, who will be tough but bitchy with their comments. “Well, your doggie style was sublime. What you really need to work on is your facials. There’s no room here for the squeamish, darling.”

I really think I’m on a winner, here, but it needs some more work. Some of you out there must watch reality shows…any ideas?

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