Friday, March 12, 2010

Experience needed?

I've had this discussion with fellow authors before, but I thought I'd put it out in the open today (so to speak).

When you tell people (family, friends, colleagues... and if you dared, go you!) that you write erotica, how many of you got that same old comment: "Wow, your sex life must be amazing!". As if because you write erotica, you must obviously know everything there is to know about sex. You must have experimented everything you write about, right? Wrong.

So, here's my question for y'all: do you think having experienced something makes for better writing? For example, if you write about BDSM, should you have tried it first? Do you need to know about it before writing about it?
Research is there for a reason, of course, and we all do it. But does reading about something makes you qualified enough to write about it?

I know that when I read a scene with a specific sexual position, when I know that the heroine couldn't possibly feel the way it's described, it makes me mad. And I end up enjoying the story less. But does that mean we should all have group sex so we can write about it?


PS: Dear husband, if you're reading this, the answer is no...
PPS: :)


Anonymous said...

I have though about group sex, but for me it's best left to dreams and fantasy, and my vibrators!


Willsin Rowe said...

I'm with you, Emma. When you write about flying in space or life after death, people seem to accept it as fiction and not assume that you've ever had either experience.

Rozlyn Sparks said...

I don't think one has to experience anything to be able to write about it. Fantasize, perhaps, but no experience necessary.