A while ago, I was glancing through a low-level men’s mag. It wasn’t quite porn – plenty of flesh, but no nipples – and it was also chock-full of intelligent and well-thought-out articles about beer and tits.
Amongst the dross was an agony-aunt column called something like “Ask The Girls In Our Office”. Three everyday (but still very perky) girls from the magazine office would offer men advice from a female perspective. Pretty good premise, really.
In that column there was one problem (and set of answers) which I retained. The young fellow wrote in stating that he really didn’t like the odour that is secreted by the lady-bits. The set of replies covered a wide range. “You’re no rose garden, either.” “Maybe you should think about switching teams.” Then also the sensible but impractical suggestion that he could ask his woman to wash beforehand...every time.
Why this stuck with me was that it seemed, in a general sense, to be a perfect representation of the different ways that men and women communicate.
The guy has fired out a statement about his problem, without any thought as to how the statement may affect the people hearing it. He didn’t realise it could be offensive...after all, he SAID it was HIS problem. No emotion attached as far as he’s concerned. He’s talking about himself, not every woman on the face of the earth.
When you have a compartmentalised brain, you tend to use your single small emotional centre sparingly.
The response from the girls was to turn it back on him. Kind of a “how dare you...and anyway, you are MORE!” as well as questioning his manliness and orientation. A reply simply awash with emotion, since that’s exactly what they heard, even if it’s not what he said. He’s insulting every woman on the face of the earth, pretending to ask us for help!
When everything you say has to pass through an emotional centre on its way to your mouth, it’s going to pick something up.
We’re like sandpaper and matches. It’s only when we rub against each other that things get really heated...and it's so much fun to argue!