So, I've been wondering…when did looking become rude? Has it always been rude? I know I feel guilty any time I get caught, yet they're MY eyes and I should feel free to point them wherever I like. If I lean over your cubicle and three-fifths of your cleavage is surging out of your top, I WILL notice. Mostly it will stay in my peripheral vision, but if there's a chance, it will complete me while we talk. Don't tell me where your eyes are. I know. But I can look at THEM any time I like.
I don't pretend to be unusual when I say this: I love the female form. No one part of it, no one type. I'm a glutton, rather than a connoisseur. I love the way she looks when she's in repose, when she's dancing, when she's making tiny adjustments to herself. Laughing, stretching, sleeping, cooking, running, walking, masturbating…it's a sonnet of sensuality.
If I had to pick one body type over all others, I guess I'd say big-boned. The kind of woman who's in great condition because she HAS to work at it. If she stopped jogging she'd run to fat. She appreciates how good she looks because she's made it happen. She's confident enough to wear a crop top and workout tights, even though she's a size 12. She loves food and is prepared to work it off rather than stick to a strict diet. I could watch HER all day and night and never get sick of it.
So to return to a slightly different shade of my original question…is it rude to look at a woman who's put herself in a position to be looked at? I'm not talking about drilling a peephole in the women's showers. I'm talking about that big-boned amazon jogging towards me in tattooed-on Lycra. She knows what I'm thinking when she sees my eyes and I miss hers. She knew I, or someone like me, was going to be out there, walking through the park.
Or is looking actually not so bad after all? Is it the accompanying slackening of the jaw, the little accidental moan, the tiny rivulet of saliva that curls down our chins…is that the problem?
If we can control that, will looking be okay?